How To Be More Present With Your Loved Ones

One of the most powerful ways to love others is by being present with them. In today's fast-paced and ever-connected world, it is easy to become caught up in the constant demands of our daily lives and miss out on meaningful connection. We find ourselves physically present but mentally absent, preoccupied with to-do lists, work deadlines, and the lure of social media. Amidst the hustle and bustle, we often overlook the significance of being present with our loved ones and truly engaging in what is important to them.

Why Being Present Matters

Being present with our loved ones matters profoundly as it is a powerful way to serve and show love. As human beings, we all have an innate need to feel seen, heard, and valued. When we offer our undivided attention, we communicate our appreciation and value of the person before us. By engaging in what is important to them, whether it's their passions, interests, or concerns, we demonstrate that we genuinely care and are willing to invest ourselves in their happiness and well-being. Being present allows us to understand their joys, struggles, and aspirations, fostering empathy and a deep sense of connection. It is in these moments that memories are made, bonds are strengthened, and relationships are nourished.

A Solution: Responding Positively to Bids for Connection

Responding to bids for connection provide a powerful solution for being more present with our loved ones. Bids for connection, introduced by renowned relationship expert John Gottman, refer to the small attempts individuals make to connect with their loved ones. Bids can be verbal or non-verbal, such as asking a question, sharing a thought, offering an affectionate touch, or an invitation to engage in an activity together. John Gottman's research displayed that successful couples respond to bids 86% of the time; whereas unsuccessful couples only responded 34% of the time. When we respond positively and consistently to these bids, we convey our interest, attentiveness, and willingness to connect, thereby strengthening the bond with our loved ones.

Examples of Responding to Bids for Connection

1. Drop what you are doing when your spouse or child wants to tell you something.

2. Remind yourself to "be here now" when you are communicating with your loved one rather than being distracted mentally.

3. Engage by asking various questions about your spouse or child’s interest.

4. Take a moment to check in with your spouse or child on how they are doing.

5. Offer affectionate touch and consistent eye contact when spending time with your spouse or child.

In summary, being present with your loved ones and in your own life brings numerous benefits. It strengthens your relationships, improves communication, fosters gratitude, reduces stress, promotes personal growth, and maximizes the value of your time. By prioritizing presence, you can cultivate deeper connections, enhance your well-being, and find greater fulfillment.

Written By: Sarah Swygart